Transcribed from a live audio interview
What makes you feel most alien?
“Honestly, I think what makes me feel most alien is probably just other people in general. It’s weird, because people can make you feel like you’re involved in something, but at the same time, they can make you feel completely foreign.
I think most people just want to be understood and that’s kinda like everyone’s purpose. It’s not always expressed that way, but we’re all trying to project out what we know is inside of us, and I think the worst thing is when you try that and it’s just not received. That’s one thing with strangers, but when it’s family, friends, or someone you’re in a relationship with, watching it not hit can be very isolating.
But I will say, sometimes you have these moments where you do meet those people, and sometimes you don't even have to say much, and there's that connection. I feel like that justifies all the moments when you don’t feel that way. Those moments in between can definitely be a little rough, but you don’t need much to keep going.”
When you were a kid, what was the wildest or most joyful dream you had for the future?
“It sounds bad to say this, but I feel like the way I came up, I didn’t really have the ability to see that far into the future, you know? Like, thinking about tomorrow was a lot for me.
I don’t have specific wild dreams, but I grew up watching a lot of anime and action movies. And obviously, you always identify with the hero of the story. So generally speaking, I would always have these fantasies in my head that one day something bad’s gonna happen, and I’m gonna be called to action. And I’m just gonna show up, and I’m just gonna do the thing.
It’s not like I wanna do it on a stage in front of anyone. Honestly, in my ideal world, no one would even know about it. It would just kind of be for me, and then I could be rest assured because I guess you kind of question, why am I here? What’s my purpose?
I’m a simple person. I feel like I just need to do one good thing, and that right there will justify me being here. And then the rest of my time is mine to enjoy.
So that’s kind of the general dream. I’m still waiting on it. I’ve been practicing, you know, helping out in little moments, but I’m still waiting for something big. So we’ll see.”
If you had to share one piece of advice, what would it be?
“Live only as it befits your nature. There’s a lot to unpack there, but just figure out who you are and live true to that. You’re gonna be swayed by a lot of things outside of yourself, and that’s fine. That’s a part of it. But trust your intuition and trust what’s within you.
In my 20s, I had this idea that my 20s were all about disillusionment. You grow up with all these wild ideas of what life is gonna be, and then you’re forced to actually partake in life, and it just doesn’t seem that way.
But I don’t think it’s necessarily about being disillusioned. I think it’s about reconciliation. All the things that you have within you, I think they do exist outside of you. It just might not look like that, but it’s your job to kind of connect the dots.
So my biggest piece of advice is just: hold on to who you are, and try your best not to get swayed by things outside of yourself.”